If you are stuck in such a situation, here is what to do.

Mr. Sameer, an employee at a public sector company, found himself in a deeply distressing marital situation. He had a love marriage with Ms. Rina, with the consent of both families. Before the wedding, Rina had agreed to live with Sameer’s parents, as he is their only son. However, a few months into the marriage, her behaviour changed drastically. She ceased all communication with Sameer’s parents and sister and began creating a hostile environment at home.

The situation escalated when Rina started refusing to visit Sameer’s parental home and forbade him from bringing his parents to their residence, even for medical emergencies. This was a significant blow to Sameer, as he works in a different city and is the sole caregiver for his elderly parents. Rina also expressed disdain for his lifestyle, demanding luxury hotels and air travel for work-related trips, despite being aware of his financial limitations. Frequent fights, verbal abuse with slangs, and derogatory comments about Sameer and his family became a regular occurrence. Despite his attempts to communicate calmly and even involve her parents, nothing seemed to work. Feeling depressed and isolated, Sameer is struggling to see a way forward, torn between his desire to save his marriage and the unbearable mental agony.

Advice in such cases

Navigating such a turbulent phase in a marriage requires a calm and strategic approach. Here are some steps to consider:

• Attempt Counselling: Before resorting to legal action, consider professional marriage counselling. A neutral third party can sometimes help couples communicate more effectively and address underlying issues. This step also demonstrates to the court, if it comes to that, that you made a genuine effort to save the marriage.
• Document Everything: Keep a detailed record of all incidents of verbal abuse, unreasonable demands, and disrespectful behaviour. Save text messages, emails, or any other digital communication that can serve as evidence of mental cruelty. Note down the dates and specifics of each incident.
• Financial Prudence: Do not give in to unreasonable financial demands that are beyond your means. Keep records of your income and major expenditures to demonstrate your lifestyle and financial capacity.
• Consult with Lawyer: The very basic and important step to start is talk to Lawyer / advocate. You should not hesitate in paying his consultation fee i.e. might be in range of Rs. 10,000 to 50,000 depends case to case. He is helping you in this situation of come out. He is expert in the domain and can help you explain the procedure which you might have never explored. A good lawyer can get the issues resolved much faster than you think.

Applicable Sections of Law

In India, matrimonial disputes are primarily governed by personal laws. For Hindus, the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, outlines the grounds for divorce.

The situation described by Sameer falls squarely under the ground of ‘Cruelty’ as defined under Section 13(1)(ia) of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955. It is important to understand that cruelty is not limited to physical violence. The Supreme Court of India has repeatedly held that mental cruelty can be a valid ground for divorce. Acts that constitute mental cruelty include:

• Persistent verbal abuse, insults, and humiliation.
• Unfounded allegations against the spouse or their family.
• Conduct that causes constant stress, anxiety, and emotional pain, making it impossible for the couple to live together.
• Refusing to cohabit without a reasonable cause.
• Specifically, denying a son the right to care for his ailing parents has been considered a grave form of mental cruelty by various High Courts and the Supreme Court. It goes against the ethos and values of Indian society.

If you are the complainant

If you are the husband facing such a situation and have decided to pursue legal action, here is the path forward:

• Gather Your Evidence: Systematically compile all the proof you have documented. This includes messages, recordings (check with your lawyer about their admissibility), and a list of potential witnesses (friends, relatives, or neighbours) who can testify about the wife’s behaviour.
• File a Divorce Petition: Your lawyer will draft and file a divorce petition in the appropriate Family Court, citing ‘cruelty’ as the ground. The petition will detail the specific instances of mental agony you have endured.
• Be Prepared for Mediation: The court will likely refer the case for mandatory mediation or conciliation to see if a settlement is possible. Participate in this process in good faith.
• Consult with Lawyer: The very basic and important step to start is talk to Lawyer / advocate. You should not hesitate in paying his consultation fee i.e. might be in range of Rs. 10,000 to 50,000 depends case to case. He is helping you in this situation of come out. He is expert in the domain and can help you explain the procedure which you might have never explored. A good lawyer can get the issues resolved much faster than you think.

If you are the victim

If you are enduring such treatment, it is crucial to prioritize your well-being and understand your rights.

• Acknowledge the Abuse: Recognize that mental and emotional abuse is as damaging as physical abuse. Your feelings of depression and distress are valid.
• Seek Support: Confide in a trusted friend, family member, or a professional therapist. Dealing with such a situation alone can take a severe toll on your mental health.
• Understand Your Legal Rights: You have the right to live with dignity and peace. The law provides a remedy when a marital relationship becomes a source of perpetual torment.
• Consult with Lawyer: The very basic and important step to start is talk to Lawyer / advocate. You should not hesitate in paying his consultation fee i.e. might be in range of Rs. 10,000 to 50,000 depends case to case. He is helping you in this situation of come out. He is expert in the domain and can help you explain the procedure which you might have never explored. A good lawyer can get the issues resolved much faster than you think.

How the police behave in such cases

Typically, divorce is a civil matter handled by Family Courts, and the police do not have a direct role in the proceedings. However, police involvement can occur in two scenarios:

• If a Criminal Offence is Committed: If the verbal abuse escalates to criminal intimidation or if there is any physical violence, a police complaint can be filed.
• Counter-Complaints: It is a common tactic in acrimonious matrimonial disputes for the wife to file a counter-complaint against the husband and his family, often under sections related to dowry harassment (like Section 498A of the IPC, now covered under Sections 85 and 86 of the Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita, 2023 – BNS). In such a case, the police will investigate the wife’s complaint. It is essential to have a good lawyer to guide you through this process and protect you from false allegations.

FAQs people normally have

What evidence is required?

To prove mental cruelty in court, you need to present a pattern of behaviour. Strong evidence includes:

• Digital Communication: WhatsApp chats, SMS, emails, and social media posts that contain abusive language or unreasonable demands.
• Call Recordings: Audio or video recordings of abusive conversations (admissibility may vary and should be discussed with your lawyer).
• Witness Testimony: Statements from family members, friends, or neighbours who have witnessed the wife’s abusive behaviour or the husband’s resulting distress.
• Financial Records: Bank statements or bills that can substantiate unreasonable financial demands.
• Medical Records: If the mental stress has led to health issues like depression or anxiety, a doctor’s report can be valuable evidence.

How long will the investigation take?

For a divorce case, there is no “investigation” by the police, but a “trial” in the Family Court. The duration of a contested divorce case can vary significantly based on several factors:

• Complexity of the Case: The number of allegations and the amount of evidence presented by both sides.
• Court’s Caseload: The backlog of cases in the specific Family Court.
• Cooperation of Parties: Delays can be caused by either party seeking frequent adjournments.

A contested divorce in India can take anywhere from two to five years, or even longer in some cases, to reach a final judgment. The process involves filing the petition, the other party filing a reply, mediation, framing of issues, presenting evidence, cross-examination of witnesses, final arguments, and finally, the judgment.

Advocate Sudhir Rao, Supreme Court of India